It’s a horror story as old as social media itself; you meet someone online, there’s an instant connection, y’all decide to meet outside the group chat, and you discover they’ve been lying to you. From old school community boards to the modern group chat, you’ve always had to be cautious about your online besties.

But with our real-life communities fading away, meeting your virtual friends in real life isn’t just enticing – it feels essential. In this article, we’ll give you a step-by-step guide to taking your friendship out of the group chat and into real life.

Before Saying Hi To The Group Chat 👋

It might seem exciting to meet all your online besties in person. But don’t dive into your friends list without thinking. Do a little check-in before you take it out the group chat. How long have you been talking to this person? Have you gotten on a phone or FaceTime call yet? Do you really feel like you’ll get along, or are you only meeting up for clout and content?

Step 1. More Than Messages ☎️

Trading messages is great, but it’s not enough to really know someone. Before you even think about meeting up in person, you should sit down and really get to know them.

Host a video call, so you can actually talk. This will give you a much better idea of who your favorite mutual is. Are they even more fun than you’d thought? Do they have any patterns or behaviors that rub you the wrong way? Maybe they say something that raises a red flag. A “live” conversation can be really telling.

But one phone call doesn’t tell you everything. They’re still kind of a stranger! Spend some time getting to know them and chatting with them. If they don’t pass this vibe check, you do not need to be meeting with them in person.

Step 2. Location, Location 📍

This step is a corequisite with the first one. For your first meet-up, you don’t want to go too far. Try to find a mutual or online friend who’s close to you! Avoid an overnight trip or traveling super out of the way. If things go well, you don’t want to be stuck somewhere. Or feel like you wasted a ton of time and money, which is a nightmare in this economy.

Step 3. Plan Your Meet Up 🤓

If you’ve gotten to know this creator, you both still want to meet in person, and they’re close to you, then you can start taking it out of the group chat.

Figure out what you want to do! You can be lowkey and meet for coffee, be a little more involved and go to a museum or event together, or do something in the middle and go bowling or mini golfing. It can be whatever you both want. Just be sure your expectations are aligned!

However, it’s not all fun and games. You do need to keep safety in the back of your mind.

Step 4: Keep It Safe 🦺

At the end of the day, this is still a stranger. You’ve never really met, and you don’t know what they’re like.

• Tell someone where you’re going and who you’re with.
• Share your location with a trusted person.
• Have your own (reliable) method of transportation.
• Plan something during the day, and don’t do overnights.
• Pick a public, safe location or activity.
• Don’t share your private information, like an address.
• Check in with a trusted person regularly.
• Have an exit plan ready.

You might think this is paranoia, but it’s just being prepared. You’re meeting a stranger, afterall! A little caution never hurts.

Step 5: Manage Expectations 🧡

It’s all set. You’ve gotten to know your bestie, you’re on your way to the meetup, and you’re excited. But one of the key steps to a meet-up is managing expectations.

Online chemistry and a fire group chat don’t mean a real-life connection. You might find that your meet-up is awkward at first. Give yourself and your friend time to warm up! Don’t schedule a ton of things during the day; plan one or two solid things, then see where the day takes you.

Also, don’t put too much pressure on your meet-up. The group chat convo might be great, but that doesn’t mean you’ll mesh in real life. They might be different from what you expected, or you might not have as great a time. It’s okay if you don’t click. Just like building friendships IRL, it doesn’t always work in person. That doesn’t mean you can’t be mutuals and online besties!

Red Flags to Watch For 🟥

Whether you’re still in the planning phase or smack in the middle of the meet-up, keep an eye out for some red flags. These might look like:

• Pressuring you to meet privately.
• Refusing to do video calls beforehand.
• Asking you to lie about where you’re going.
• Asking you to keep the meetup a secret.
• Getting angry when you set boundaries.
• Sharing inconsistent identity details.
• Being super flakey. People get busy, but there’s a limit.

Overall, trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.

Next Time? 🤔

If things go well, you can make this a regular thing! Maybe you meet up once a month, or if things are busy, you FaceTime more often. Start slow and keep in touch!

TLDR; Leave The Group Chat 💭

Seeing your online friends in person can be amazing. Even though you’ve been friends for months or even years, it’s like you’re finally meeting! You can hoot and holler, vent and rant, and bond in person. For many creators, our community is mostly online. But nothing beats having a friend to lean on and laugh with in real life.

The key is to do it safely. You may love their content, but you don’t know what they could be hiding. Like dating, you have to take it slow and play it safe.

Wanting to build a community? Check out this article with tips you can work into your regular content strategy.