Balancing Parenting and Social Media with Queenager

There’s no harder job on this earth than parenting. Throw in other responsibilities and an ever-changing social media side hustle, and even the most experienced juggler is bound to be overwhelmed. But most parents don’t have circus training, nor are they parenting experts…and nor are they experts in social media. For most of us, these skills have to be learned through experience, sometimes all at once. Impossible right?

Not for Kiki. Better known as Queenager on Clapper, she has about 15 years’ of experience juggling content creation, being a mom, and dealing with whatever life throws at her. And she’s done so with incredible success. She has a huge platform on Clapper with 170k followers and is an active member of our Affiliate Program. Kiki is also the mastermind behind the Clapper Yearbook, which highlights Clapper creators from all over the world.

In addition to her tireless work on Clapper, she’s a mental health and Bipolar Disorder (BDP) advocate, traveling around the UK to raise awareness. She even spoke recently on a BBC radio show about her struggles with BPD (and yes we were crying very proud tears in the Clapper office). She’s also a mother to “6 (mostly) wonderful children” and helps take care of her godchildren.

A Snippet of Her Schedule⏰

Her day starts at 4 in the morning. During that time, she’ll go Live twice, try to make content, get her children up and off to school, and help a friend with her own children. And that’s just what she does on a normal basis. If you can’t tell already, Kiki is a busy lady with a lot of tasks competing for top priority. Somehow she’s able to find time to not only make content but be engaged with her social media community. It should be impossible, but she makes it look effortless. Luckily for you (and us!) she sat down with the Clapper Team to tell us how she manages all of it.

In this article, we’ll share Kiki’s 10 insights for balancing parenting and social media. Even someone who’s been doing it as long as Kiki will tell you that it’s not easy. But her experience is invaluable for creators – parents or otherwise. Whether you’re worried about including your children in your content, finding time to film, or unsure of how to handle judgment, Kiki’s got you covered.

(That would actually be a killer hashtag. #KikisGotYouCovered advice series, anyone?)

“Live your real life and then use social media to complement it, not the other way.”

1. Find the Right Kind of Content Creation Style For Your Life🔎

Most advice for busy content creators will say to block out time in advance and film a lot of content in one sitting. It’s advice we’ve given on our blog, too. But this kind of content creation doesn’t quite work for Kiki. Mainly, that kind of schedule doesn’t mesh with the creative side of her brain.

“I squirrel every day. I can’t stick to one thing. So I’ll plan things but then I won’t feel like it the next day, so it’ll just go out the window!”

Kiki’s time to film content is also limited. Her schedule’s pretty packed, as we talked about earlier. There’s little time to devote to content creation and every day is different, so her filming schedule has to be fluid. Kiki works content creation into her day where she can. Her videos are filmed off the cuff whenever inspiration (and time) strikes, but Kiki doesn’t leave it all up to chance.

“I like to try and keep it as regular as possible. People know that I’ll be Live from 5 or 6 am to about 8 am. And then I usually sort of go away and then I’ll come back on…”

Having some consistency can make juggling everything easier. But don’t feel like you have to perfectly schedule out every second.

2. Have a Loose Framework🖼

Just like when you film your content, having an idea of what you want to create before you film it can be helpful. This isn’t to say you have to sit down and write out a video script before you film. The time you’d spend doing that is likely the same time you’d spend filming. Even though planning videos in advance can take away the precious time you do have, knowing the kinds of videos you want to make takes minutes and makes coming up with content so much easier.

As we said, most of Kiki’s content is filmed off the cuff as she has time, but she knows what kind of content she wants to create even before she sits down.

“Although I do a lot of comedy, I do try and switch it up. Make some informative things, whatever’s interesting to me at that time. I try and keep it seasonal, try and keep in line with what’s going on on Clapper, things like that.”

Even having these three content buckets makes balancing social media easier. If Kiki knows she wants to create comedic, seasonal, and informative content, a quick glance at her recent videos will show her what she might be missing. Haven’t done something informative in twelve videos? Time to make a new one!

3. Work With What You’ve Got👩🏻‍💻

While comedy is Kiki’s bread and butter (and our favorite thing she creates) we loved her insight into her informative content. We mostly think of informative/educational content as something academic that has to be researched. But Kiki’s approach is to look around her and help people learn more about her corner of the world.

“I live here and I know what it looks like, but somebody from somewhere else may not realize that this is actually what the UK looks like,” she said. “Big Ben isn’t in my back garden, you know? And some of the houses around here are so old. I like to show them up because to me they’re not anything special, but to somebody else, they might be.”

Not only do we love this concept for content creation in general, but we think this is unbeatable insight for parents. What’s normal or even boring to you could be new and novel to someone else. You don’t have to go out and do “cool” things in order to make content as a parent. You don’t have to spend time and money traveling to new places or experiencing new things. Look at what’s around you and find inspiration there.

And this doesn’t just include your physical space: you know or enjoy tons of things that would be interesting to others.

4. Create Content You’d Want to Watch🤳🏼

Making content that you find interesting or exciting is another great tip. It will be easier to create content if you’re passionate about it, which is how Kiki’s content creation journey began.

“I would make videos for me to watch. To remind myself that I can make myself laugh. I know it sounds bizarre, but then I wanted to see if this made up other people laugh. And it did, so I just went with it.”

So Kiki started making content that she and her friends found funny. The latter part – about what her friends found funny – is key.

One added benefit of making content you’d want to watch: people with similar interests, senses of humor, and lifestyles will naturally find your content. And if you’re creating content you and your real-life friends would watch and share with each other, you’ll find new friends much easier. These bonds are essential on apps like Clapper, where the whole point is to connect with people and make friends on- and offline.

5. Find Someone to Vent With🫱🏻‍🫲🏽

Kiki has made connections in spades and spades – with quite a few transcending Clapper into her day-to-day life. These have been essential for balancing social media and her personal life, which was a little surprising to us at first.

One of the things that Kiki mentioned right away was having a ranting partner. This is a friend that she can go to whenever she needs to vent about social media. They don’t even have to be on the same app or understand how everything works – and she said it might be better if they didn’t! All they have to do is listen, work through a few struggles, and be there for you when you need someone. Kiki’s ranting partner is Kerry, another Clapper creator based in the UK.

“You can just vent everything and it’s not going to be repeated. You’ve got 15 minutes to rant and that person usually just puts the phone down and walks off. Me and Kerry do this all the time. Sometimes, I’ll just pick up the phone and go “ahhhh” and she’ll message me back “ahhhh”, which makes you feel better.”

Having someone there to help you, even to just listen to your struggles, makes managing everything easier.

6. Set Boundaries About Your Children🙅🏻‍♀️

This is pretty broad, but stick with us! Kiki’s children are involved in her content, but there are some rules they follow. There are boundaries and things she keeps in mind, but she does let her children get in on the fun. You and your children can determine your own rules, but we’ll share some of Kiki’s to help get the conversation started!

  1. Make sure they understand social media and what it entails before you actually put them in your content. This doesn’t mean that they have to understand the time commitment or algorithm, but rather that they understand anyone can see what you post. Do they want to be broadcasted that way?
  2. Let them make the choice to be involved. Rather than asking them directly, let them show interest and come to you. Don’t be afraid to talk about social media by any means, but don’t make them feel like they have to do it.
  3. They can be involved behind the scenes, too. If your children want to help film or edit content, teach them the ropes and let them test it out. One of Kiki’s younger sons actually helps her film a lot of her content and really enjoys the process.
  4. Get inspired by their favorite content. Kids are on social media a lot more than we are, and they have different FYPs and recommended videos than we do. Seriously look at whatever they show you and see if you can adapt it for your own socials. You never know what seeing new content will do for your inspiration!

At the end of the day, the people who know your children best are you and your children. Get them involved if they’d like to be, but make sure they understand what being on a social media platform entails.

7. Don’t Stress About Kids Dropping In💆🏻

In the same vein, some parents don’t want their children to be on their social media at all. Maybe it’s a safety and security preference, but for a lot of parents, it’s about professionalism more than anything. The child runs in, distracts you, makes a lot of noise, or derails what you’re doing. Kiki has had this happen a few times…with less-than-ideal outcomes.

“My son came into one my Lives one time and said, “Mom, what’s bukkake?” I just wanted to die.”

Yikes! We’d be embarrassed, too!

But this doesn’t mean you have to worry about your kids barging in or trying to find a way to keep them out 100% of the time. One of the benefits of being a content creator and parent is that your audience knows you’ve got children. The audience understands that kids are an uncontrollable variable and they’ll likely be forgiving of any distractions they cause. Chances are they have children of their own running around as they’re watching your Live. Kiki’s advice was to let it go.

“One of the biggest worries, when you’re trying to do social media, is that if your children happen to be around, they are going to spoil it. Don’t worry about if the kids kick in. As time went on, people got used to them.”

Your audience will be more understanding of your children and the minor chaos they wreak than you think.

8. Let Go of Judgement🍃

Well, most of your audience will be forgiving. Sadly, not everyone is so understanding – and some people make it their mission to be hateful online. You’ll get those people no matter what, but being a parent seems to invite even more unwarranted criticism. Kiki agreed, listing off a plethora of things people have judged her for. It happens, it will happen, and you’ll have to let it go.

“They don’t know what’s going on in our life. My attitude is: if you don’t put food on my table or clothes on my children’s back, your opinion doesn’t matter. Really, it doesn’t matter.”

This is where that ranting partner will come in extra handy! You can work through this with them, see if maybe you were in the wrong, and get some reassurance to keep you motivated. Just know that everyone deals with judgmental people online and that they’re often hateful just to be hateful.

And, in case you’re really worried, those judgy people only drop by once or twice. Most of the time they’ll get cleared out with the rest of the garbage.

9. You Can’t Please Everyone🤷🏽‍♀️

No matter if you have people judging or bullying you on social media, not everyone will like your content. Even outside of creating content, you’re not going to be able to please everyone on your platform. It’s not an easy realization to come to nor is it easy to let go of, but it was essential for Kiki in her content journey.

“Trying to please everybody just made me so unhappy. I nearly came off the app at one point, because I was just trying to be so helpful. I was taking on everybody else’s worries and I just snapped and got nasty. That isn’t me.”

So she did a little reevaluating and found tactics that worked for her. She chatted with her venting partners, who told her it was okay to say no and okay to do what she wanted. She found ways to trick herself into taking breaks and believing in herself; she read a little about human psychology and our behavior. And she set boundaries, which is the most helpful thing. Kiki decided that she wasn’t going to respond to every DM she got – just ones from people she knew.

Let go of the idea that you have to please every single person on the app. It’s okay if you don’t, because we promise you will not, no matter how hard you try.

About Change…

You and your content are going to change as you create. You may decide you don’t want to be as personal on-camera, or that you simply don’t like the content you’re posting. That’s fine – in fact, that’s how it should be! If you want to change something or notice a shift, follow that instinct.

Kiki did! When she reevaluated her relationship with social media and started to set some boundaries, her content changed. People didn’t like that and made sure that she knew it. It was tough at first because these were her followers and she wanted to make them happy. It’s one of the first rules of social media, after all! But then Kiki came to a realization.

“The people that didn’t like it were the people that were holding me back. Draining me. I started mixing with people with the same attitude – a positive instead of a negative one.”

Kiki did what she wanted and cultivated positivity on her social media. Through that, through creating content that was more authentic, through doing things that made her happy, Kiki found a whole new community. Don’t be afraid of change: it will help you find the right people for you.

10. Believe In Yourself and Go For It🧡

When we asked Kiki if she could go back and tell herself anything or make sure she knew something, she answered without hesitation.

“I would have more belief in my gut instinct and I’d be braver. Just take the bull by the horns and go for it.”

Imposter syndrome is real and can be so hard to overcome. Kiki had to go through that process for herself and affirmed that it was not easy. You have to separate the voice telling you that you want to do something and the one telling you that you can’t. Even if they sound the same, one has to go.

In a pinch, ask yourself: who will do this if I don’t? It worked for Kiki.

“When I did the yearbook, I thought ‘Who am I to do that?’ And then I realized, ‘If I’m not going to, nobody else is. So I’m gonna’.”

If you want to do something, don’t be afraid of doing it wrong or not being “the person” for it. Do it! Nobody will do it if you don’t – and if they do, it won’t be yours. And if that pep talk doesn’t work?

“I kind of trick myself sometimes. Otherwise, it won’t get done!”

Final Advice From Kiki…💬

When we asked her if there was anything specific she wanted to leave the audience with or any final words of advice, Kiki had two things to share.

“Don’t worry about the makeup. Don’t worry about how you look. Just be yourself and just have fun. Find what made you happy and then make content about it.”

And, finally, Kiki wanted to tell everyone to be grateful.

“Just be grateful. Be grateful and be mindful, because I think when you’re grateful, it makes things a little bit easier, it makes life a little bit nicer.”

We couldn’t agree more. And we’re so grateful that she took the time to sit down with us and share her advice for parents trying to create social media content. This isn’t a 10-step guide or the exact order of events you need in order to be successful. But these hard-earned lessons are all excellent places to start. Make your first step letting go of judgment, or make it finding time to film. Begin with the thing that will make juggling it all easier for you.

To keep up with Queenager (again, what a good hashtag) and add some of her humor to your day, check her out on Clapper. If you want to learn more about the UK Clapper Meet Up she helped organize (as if she doesn’t have enough on her plate) read this blog post. And if you’d like a little extra help balancing content creation and all your other responsibilities, our Ultimate Creator Guide is the perfect place to start!